Day 110

This process never gets easier. it changes, it gets different, but never easier. it doesn't feel like a process, either. a process implies a beginning and an end. there was a beginning, 110 days ago, but there is no end. he doesn't come back. in the time since he's passed, my anxiety has shot through the roof. i'm on a series of new psych meds (6 pills a day) but still having panic attacks at Target. i know it takes time, but i want to feel normal again. i don't think there will be a normal without my husband.