Dublin

I lost my best friend and the most loyal dog anyone could've asked for today. Dublin was being boarded while I'm away in Alaska and this morning I got a call that he got very sick overnight and his kidneys were failing. I spent 15-20 minutes making calls and sending texts and trying to figure out what to do next and when I called back to ask the vet some more questions, he was already gone. His little body just gave out on him. He was the most loyal, loving dog. He deserved a much better mom than me.

Day 642

It never gets better. I'm broken. I'm lost. My heart aches. People look at me as though I should be over this. There is no getting over a loss like this. It's forever.

Day 513

they say grief comes and goes. in my experience it never goes. it gets harder and easier but never completely fades. the last few days have been tough. i feel like i've taken so many steps backward. i miss this guy so much it makes me nauseous. no one will ever love me like this guy did and i miss that something terrible. "i grieve the loss of something real."

Day 487

I'm struggling today. I miss being loved in a romantic way. I miss forehead kisses. I miss every little thing. Maybe it's the nice weather. Maybe it's the Jim Adkins show in a couple days that I know he would go to with me so he could take pictures and video and I could enjoy the show. He was thoughtful that way.

day 484

dear indio,

i miss you. i wish you were here to spend the weekend with bodhi and i. she's your spitting image, if a dog can be that. she's sweet and loving, and protective and funny and cuddly. you somehow managed to pick the perfect dog for you and you didn't get enough time with her. sometimes i think you picked her out so that i would have a sweet, loving reminder of you after you were gone. at night we talk to your picture. i hope you hear us. i hope you hear me all the time when i talk to you, which is everyday. i love you. today's a big day in michigan, in the entire country. if you were here we could've gone down to ferndale to join in the celebrations. love you. miss you.

your kitten p.