Guilt

I feel guilty for feeling so shitty and wanting to express it. I want to send texts, to call people, to tell them how awful this is, how every minute feels worse than the previous one. But I stop myself because I feel guilty, because people don't know how to respond, and they have their own lives and don't need the sad widow downer text message to interrupt whatever they're doing. i'm listening to music and uploading pictures form europe. my heart feels like it's just being ripped out again and again. these pictures are from a time that was so wonderful. so happy. these songs remind me of the amazing love i felt from him and for him. i'm reminded of the quiet moments, where it felt like nothing existed but us.