my omi

i got a voicemail this afternoon at my office. it was from my mom. she was obviously crying. she asked me to call back as soon as i could... i tried several times and couldn't get through. my mind was racing. my mom is emotional like me, but she wouldn't call me in the middle of the day crying unless something was really wrong. i started immediately thinking the worst... someone died... or one of the animals died... when i finally got through to her and asked her what was wrong she told me my grandma was dying... my grandma has been relatively healthy... in recent years she's developed diabetes and bad hips have made her less mobile than she once was, but she never struggled with her health... my mom told me that she collapsed "several times" yesterday... at the hospital they told my cousin that hse'd had a heart attack and then a stroke and her blood sugar was out of control... she's still alive, as far as i know, but the doctors have made it seem as though she won't last the night. i'm crushed. i haven't seen her in a few years (she, like all my family, except my mom and dad lives in germany). I started looking for flights this afternoon... they told my mom not to rush because if she did make it there before my grandma passed away, my grandma is still totally out of it and doesn't know anyone is there... i'm so incredibly sad... i'm sad for my mom who in the course of a year and a week will have lost both her son and her mom... i don't like the idea that's she's still alive and yet, no one is giving any hope... maybe it's best, i don't know... all i know is i love her and miss her already... and i try to take comfort in the fact that if she passes, she just might get to see my brother and he'll try really hard to speak his badly broken german to her, because he loves her... maybe it's cliche and ridiculous to think that way, but i'm struggling to find some sort of comfort...