raph*star

Do Life 5k Detroit

2011-07-03T17:28:00.002-04:00

Duration: 47 minutes, 16 seconds
Distance: 3.10 miles
Pace 15:15 minutes/mile

I really pushed during this event, so if you're looking at my time and thinking "I could walk 3 miles faster than that" I'm okay with it... I did this on my third day of "running", so to even get through at all feels like an accomplishment.

Met a lot of super fun folks after the run and I hope to see them again next year when Ben and his dad run through town. I have a feeling it'll be a much bigger event next time, though. I'm an OG.

Couch to 5k

2011-07-02T22:03:00.002-04:00

So I'm going to try to get through an entire "Couch to 5k" program. It's supposed to be 8 weeks and the training is 3 days a week. This is what I've done so far...

June 30, 2011 Week One / Day One
Duration: 1 hour, 13 minutes, 30 seconds
Distance: 4.14 miles
Pace: 17:45 minutes/mile

July 2, 2011 Week One / Day Two
Duration: 53 minutes, 49 seconds
Distance: 3.17 miles
Pace: 16:58 minutes/mile

Tomorrow I'm going to try to do the Do Life 5k in Detroit... It'll be a struggle just to get through it, but I'm going to do it. It's a start, and one day will be a good reference point/comparison... I hope...

The Familiar Unfamiliar

2011-05-24T21:53:00.002-04:00

I'm so out of touch with writing. I can't seem to put together thoughts without it sounded totally disjointed. I'm going to start doing some writing exercises here to get back in the groove. There was a time when this sort of thing wasn't so laborious. I won't be editing these posts, so they'll undoubtedly read like a collection of random thoughts. sorry.

There's a feeling of comfort that stems from his weathered face. Weathered beyond its years, but just slightly. Weathered from years of hard working, not hard living. That's my guess anyway. I don't know him, except in passing, despite the comfort that comes from his eyes. They squint with less than delicate crow's feet when he smiles, which is often. His face seems genuine. I want to call him friend because he brings so much comfort. A sense of discomfort, actually, but it's followed shortly by comfort and ease. I feel awkward in my interactions. Always. I don't imagine I would ever have the same effect on someone. There's something that radiates from within him. A quality that a gruff voice and rugged face shouldn't contain. He's more lumberjack than heartthrob, but his eyes shine and soften when he speaks of his wife. His vocal adoration of his wife is cute, but it's the unspoken thing, the look in his eyes when she is in his thoughts, or near him, that earns my admiration and jealousy.

4.13.11

2011-04-13T19:56:00.002-04:00

The wedding came and went. San Francisco was colder and rainier than I'd hoped, though we had a couple of really nice sunny days. I guess that's how it goes. Wasn't it Longfellow who said "into each life a little rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary"? Feeling I've had my share for a while, so the spring, which arrived abruptly this past week, is so very welcome in a variety of ways. fresh starts, renewal, all that jazz.

Update 2.15.11

2011-02-15T20:32:00.002-05:00

In 5 weeks we leave for San Francisco, where, a couple of days later, we'll be married. It still seems surreal. I'm battling a fair chunk of anxiety as of late, which is making the process of planning an elopement 2500 miles away more difficult than it need be. I would love to be all caught up in excitement, but I can't stop my mind from spinning around the decisions that still need to be made. And the decisions I have made? I am no longer content with them. It's all silliness. The day means little in relation to the lifetime we're creating, but I'm consumed with the idea of trying to make the day amazing. I'm also unusually exhausted, which, I assume, is a slow-to-wane symptom of the flu I battled week before last. I don't know. I shouldn't even be wasting the time to track these thoughts. I should be making decisions.

Struggling

2010-11-29T00:47:00.002-05:00

I am struggling really hard with focus right now. I'm about ready to say "forget it" to school entirely. I feel like I have too much on my plate and everything suffers for it. I don't know how to even think about taking on more responsibilities. My head is reeling. I want more, but don't know if I'm capable of it.

L.A. Birthday Details

2010-10-02T12:46:00.004-04:00

Considering I was only in LA for 72 hours, we really crammed some stuff in. Seriously.

Arrival Los Angeles 9/27/10 9:15 p.m.
Departure Los Angeles 9/30/10 10:20 p.m.

Celebrity Sightings (and yeah, I use the term loosely): Sandra Oh (Greys Anatomy), Michael Rappaport, Kristen Vangness (Criminal Minds), Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter), Nick Simmons (Gene Simmons son), Trace Cyrus (Miley Cyrus brother / Billy Ray Cyrus son), David Cross, Vanessa Williams.

Celebrities we should have seen because they were in the same place at the same time, except we didn't notice them: RZA (Wu-Tang), Ke$ha

Restaurants: Kitchen 24, Real Food Daily, Nom Nom Truck, Pure Luck, Veggie Grill, El Merendero (mexican in Pomona)

Bars: Roosevelt Hotel Pool Bar, Bowery, Black Keys dressing room at the Palladium, the Green Room at Jimmy Kimmel

Coffee: Provided exclusively by Intelligentsia (Silver Lake (2x) and Venice)

Iced Tea: Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Starbucks

Snacks: Babycakes NYC, Pinkberry, Pink's Hot Dogs

Concerts: Black Keys (Palladium), Jimmy Eat World (Fox Theatre - Pomona and The Wiltern - LA)

Television Tapings: Jimmy Kimmel Live (guests: David Cross, Vanessa Williams, The Avett Brothers)

Other: Amoeba Records, Griffith Park Observatory, Hollywood Sign, Getty Villa, Venice Beach Boardwalk, Santa Monica Pier

Friends from the east coast I got to hug: Amirah, Mark, Dicky

Thank you universe...

it's a mumford & sons Saturday, minus the mumford & sons

2010-09-04T08:58:00.000-04:00

I've never blogged from my blackberry, but that's precisely what I'm attempting to do. It's early, and despite a cummulative 8 or 9 hours of sleep, I still don't feel rested. I am convinced that part of my struggle in recent times can be traced back to my inability to get a solid chunk of sleep. Dublin wakes me up every 30-90 minutes so even when I manage to get 5 or 6 hours, it somehow isn't re-charging me. Last night I came home from work and took a nap from 6ish to 11ish. I got up for a few hours then slept again from *lmost 3 to just after 7. That's a lot of rest, but, again, still not feeling recharged. Robert think it's the lack of thyroid meds that's got me dragging. If he's right, I'll found out at the end of the month when my insurance kicks back in and I can get bloodwork, medication refills, etc.

Work is really busy lately, which is great since without us being really busy, then I'm on lay off again, but there too I'm struggling. I feel like I can't catch up. Even with extra weekend hours, I'm constantly behind. I start every week trying to play catch up from the week before, which just doesn't seem to ever happen.

So what do I do, facing a lack of rest and an overwhelming amount of work? Commit to 4 more years of school! Yep, it'll be 4 more years. The next year will be mostly lit and comp classes (because I'm going to be a language arts teacher). Next summer will be a science for teachers class, and a history class (which I can't believe I don't already have). The next 2 years are all sorts of great teacher instruction courses after which I'll actually have my teaching certificate and can teach, and the final year is the last few courses to finish the masters. Right now I honestly don't know if I have another 4 years of school in me. I don't know how else to build myself a career, though... At least, certainly not a career that I think I might enjoy... Although, really? The chances are just as good that I will be a disaster as a teacher and this is another misguided undertaking.

I'm guessing that this post is full of nonsensical run-ons and other mistakes, but as I said, I'm posting from the blackberry. Hopefully it makes enough sense to at least convey a general update of where I am...

Happy Valentine's Day, Bingo-love...

2010-02-14T13:24:00.003-05:00

Bingo is in Kentucky with his dad today, so we won't get to celebrate the Valentine's Day we had originally planned... And the plans were surprisingly good, too! We were going to the Museum of Modern Art in Ann Arbor, then to grab dinner at Ayaka (Japanese) and to see The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Oh well. Bingo offered to reschedule, but it's Valentine's Day... it's fine to celebrate when you're able, but not really worth rescheduling... Bingo, though, because he's my beloved and has stuck with me through another Valentine's Day has earned himself some sappy, love-inspired treats...

There is, of course, a batch of the cookies I've decided to call Sweaty Kitten Kisses (because they're sweet and salty, get it?) - they're white chocolate dipped Golden Oreos with pink sea salt sprinkles. Not the prettiest, but not awful, either, see:

My friend Chris was super awesome and gave me a fancy-pants velvet box to put them in so they look extra Valentine-y. If they'd turned out a little prettier, Bingo might even accuse me of having bought them. But I didn't. I made them with lots and lots of looove.

And, of course, like I do every holiday, I made him a CD... He won't appreciate the music as much as I adore it, but every once in a while I'll hit on a song that he actually likes... There was Chuck Ragan - Valentine (which he got Chuck to play right after he proposed to me on stage), and he's become quite a fan of Tim Barry's Avoiding Catatonic Surrender, which was on another CD I made him... So, anyway, here's the latest collection of songs, complete with links for your listening pleasure...

1. The Most Beautiful Things - Jimmy Eat World
2. In My Dreams - Eels
3. Belated Promise Ring - Iron & Wine
4. Slow Hands - Interpol
5. Hold Me Close - Lucero
6. Song About An Angel - Sunny Day Real Estate
7. One and Only - Teitur
8. Please Be Patient With Me - Wilco
9. I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
10. Heartbeats - Jose Gonzalez
11. Let It Rain - Chuck Ragan
12. Pistol - Dustin Kensrue
13. I Know Very Well How I Got My Name - Colin Meloy
14. She's A Part Of Me - Samiam
15. C'mon Kid - Dave Hause
16. Slow Show - The National
17. Damn, Sam (I Love A Woman That Rains) - Ryan Adams
18. Blindsided - Bon Iver
19. All Will End Well - Sleepercar

Could it be?

2010-02-12T03:23:00.002-05:00

It's 79 days to graduation and the fact that I can say that feels so surreal that I couldn't even begin to explain. I am actually finishing this degree! My mom is supposed to make the trip up to see me graduate (yes, I'm walking. After 16 years of working on this degree, I am definitely walking!) and that will likely be when she finally meets Robert. Little weird that we'll have been dating for 2 1/2 years (and engaged for a year and a half) when they finally meet, but then again, she does live 1100 miles away. Speaking of awkward times with the parents, Bingo's on his way to Kentucky to pick up his dad and bring him back to Detroit for a few days. We'll get lunch or dinner one night and I'll be reminded of Bingo's familial obligations and how real they are and how his needing to move closer to his dad is becoming more and more necessary. And while seeing Bingo tenderly care for his dad is sweet to see, it also serves as a reminder of impending tough times for he and i... and likely a period of physical separation. i don't much like to think about those things. i don't think i knew how much love i was capable of giving. and the idea of being apart for an extended period just hurts.

today

2009-11-29T07:15:00.000-05:00

today is the day we originally had set for our wedding... that is all...

Mind, Body & Spirits

2009-11-04T15:20:00.002-05:00

So I have this school project where I have to work with a small group to promote a local business that is doing good for the community. My group picked a restaurant in Rochester called Mind, Body & Spirits. They have vegan food, vegetarian, some raw foods selections, organic beer and wine, and yeah, meat too. Something for everyone! I was a big fan of their tempeh reuben. It was soooo good. They have an on-site greenhouse for growing organic herbs, etc. The place is so cool. It was renovated using green practices and is run with a sustainable business model. They reclaim their water, use solar power, etc. It's expected that in just a few years they will be completely off the grid.

I'm always happy to find a vegetarian restaurant in Oakland / Macomb County, so this place had won my heart from the jump. And Michigan has a distinct lack of raw foods restaurants, so a place that offers some raw selections wins points for sure. And while they're not a vegetarian restaurant per se, they certainly cater to veggie lovers of all kinds. Upstairs they have a bar with a great rooftop patio (you know, for when it's not freezing in Michigan). The place is awesome. Good food, cool decor, ecologically friendly... can't really miss. Plus, they have a promotion right now where kids eat free on Tuesday nights and they offer have off bottles of organic win on Fridays. Everyone likes a good deal, right?

Check out the little page we set up and then pay them a visit...

Summer, I hardly knew you...

2009-09-16T01:46:00.004-04:00

Summer's come and gone and I feel like I hardly experienced it... Was it even summer? At all? The weather was so mild, it hardly felt it... This summer, though, in some ways, has been ridiculously exciting... Like at the end of June, when Autumn and Kamil (and all of their friends and family) welcomed little Evan Grey into the world...

and then, at the end of August, when little Lukas Jameson made his arrival (weeks early... guess he was excited to meet his mom and dad)...

But, besides those 2 highlights, the summer was extremely low-key for me... at times, I was so broke I couldn't drive my car and took to walking to the nearby coffeeshop to drink free iced coffee (hurrah for THAT promotion). I had classes all summer, so that kept me busy some, but not so busy that it justifies the utter lack of excitement. I wanted to go to Put In Bay with Robert. We didn't go. The Ann Arbor Art Fair? Nope, missed that too... Art and Apples in Rochester Park? Hmm, that slipped by us too. Cedar Point? Nope...

oh, wait! Autumn e-mailed today and said that a thoughtful family member was springing for tickets for her family to hit up Cedar Point and would anyone like to come along... umm, YES! I went last year with Autumn... twice, because it was THAT fun (and, between you and me, pregnant women are NOT supposed to ride all those rides, but Autumn totally did... until she took a pregnancy test RIGHT BEFORE we went to Cedar Point the 2nd time, confirmed she was preggers with her doctor's office (IN THE CAR ON THE WAY TO CEDAR POINT and couldn't ride any stupid rides. Lame. Evan had already been on ALL of those rides by then.

Anyway, the idea of going to cedar point again is so freaking exciting to me, I'm not sure I can properly express it. I'm so excited for my favorite ride (MaxAir) that I was youtubing videos of it... it might not look that great, but believe me... it IS that fun. It's not scary terrifying like all the other rides that I ride even though they make me want to cry, this one is actually fun... check it out:

And this weekend Lucero is playing a free show in Ferndale, so that should be fun... and next month Chuck Ragan is coming back to town... so I guess Fall is lining up to be pretty good, even if the summer was relatively low-key... I guess summer was the rest-up period for the fun that will be Fall 09. Yeeeehaw!

update

2009-08-13T03:32:00.002-04:00

it's been a while since i've blogged. Autumn mentioned it tonight and I've been meaning to blog for a while, even though I'm pretty sure no one bothers to stop by with the lack of updates... oh well, here goes...

It's been a weird time lately. I've made what feels like really good progress in certain aspects of my life, taken steps back in other aspects, and am left feeling somewhat lost...

First and foremost is the anxiety. I mentioned it briefly before... but I never struggled with anxiety the way I do now. It's all encompassing and, at times, totally debilitating. Panic attacks will leave me gasping for breath and praying, somehow, that I will eventually manage to get breath back into my lungs again. Whatever triggers the panic is replaced by the feeling of a thousand pound weight on my chest, preventing my lungs from expanding, my heart racing. Robert is good at helping me through the attacks as much as he can, but he's not always with me. I do minor things to try to cope with the hair-trigger anxiety like take a hot bath, drink some hot tea, try to "square breathe". it all works to varying degrees. nothing prevents the anxiety, and nothing resolves it entirely, but i'm doing my best to cope.

Secondary to the anxiety, and, almost surely, an ingredient of it, is the insomnia. I battled insomnia hardcore many years ago. Not working and thus not having a real schedule has fucked up my internal clock something fierce. It's to the point where I might be wide awake through the night until 7 am. I have an alarm set to go off every morning. weekday or weekend. I'm trying to force myself to stay on a schedule somewhat, but it's not helping. 2 hours of sleep or 6 hours of broken sleep, it doesn't matter. there's no feeling rested and renewed. and, of course, when you're struggling to sleep at 5...6...7 am, it's anxiety provoking, which just starts a cycle that i'm best off not getting caught up in. The irony of the insomnia is that i'm exhausted. i feel like i should be able to sleep at the drop of a hat, but i'm not. When I'm at roberts i do seem to be able to sleep half decent, and that's weird because most of the time he doesn't go to bed when i do. we'll both set out to watch a movie, i'll get sleepy as we watch and head to bed. he'll stay up to finish the movie and whatever other things he feels like doing before bed and will join me hours later. but i'll sleep solid, soundly, for those hours. and then usually a good few hours more once he's come to bed.

i know part of the exhaustion i'm feeling is from anemia. despite taking iron everyday, im sure i'm still anemic. i'm just too run down feeling... add to it the ice cold hands and feet, that constantly fall asleep, the pale/yellow-y complexion, and the chest pain at the most minor excursion and i'm sure my iron's got to still be low.

in a week and a half i lose my health insurance, so tomorrow i've scheduled a doctors appointment where i will hopefully get a better solution to my anemia than "take more iron pills" which would seriously send me into a full blown meltdown, and will also get a plan in place to get back on (and stay on) my psych meds.

all this said, i do feel like i've been functioning relatively well despite the anxiety/exhaustion/insomnia. my class is nearly done (2 more classes) and i will hopefully pull off a passing grade, and robert and i have moved mountains in getting my condo back in shape. it's not yet a zen temple of peace for me, but it's getting there...

and now, i'm going to end this. i'm not going to read it back to see if it makes sense, or flows correctly or whatever. i'm going to post it, and try to sleep.

statistically speaking...

2009-06-24T14:43:00.002-04:00

my stats class final exam is tonight. i'm not too nervous, but i want to do well, because the class stands to raise my GPA a bit, and that sure would be nice for getting into grad school (which, as you know by now, i hope to do). it will be a relief to be done with this class, but i wish i could have the same professor teach each and every one of my last remaining classes. she was great...

sigh

2009-06-08T06:37:00.001-04:00

i swear i did not used to have anxiety like i do now...

Henry Roth - Cameron

2009-06-02T23:50:00.003-04:00

I think I really like this dress, but I can't find a large enough image to see some of the detail around the bust / waist... Nearest place to see it in person is Minnesota or Massachusetts...

I also like this one, which is almost certainly going to make me look like an inflated sack of lace. i still think it's perty, though...

are you kidding me?

2009-06-01T22:44:00.002-04:00

everything is making me nauseous lately. it's awful. doesn't matter what i eat. tonight is a perfect example. i decided to make some curry "chicken" with peas and carrots... i was warming up the ingredients on the stove and all was well... then i added the curry sauce and the minute i dropped the sauce into the pan i was consumed by a wave of nausea. ok, so maybe no curry for dinner. i opened the fridge and saw a jar of pickles and opted to have a few slices as a snack. yum. pickles are little gifts from heaven, so it's a rule that they can never make you sick... anyway, since dinner was a bust i figured i'd whip up a protein shake (with 50 g of protein, even) and have that in place of food. i mean, really, a shake couldn't possibly make me sick, right? Wrong! I had the shake and am now suffering through more waves of nausea, again... uggh. I guess maybe it warrants a trip to the doctor, but before I even make an appointment, I'm already anxious about the series of tests that will undoubtedly end up in no specific diagnosis and no solution. Uggh. I guess ginger tea and hot baths will have to do for a while...

another goodbye

2009-05-25T15:24:00.002-04:00

the world lost another good person today. a family friend passed away at 10:15 this morning. i hope that if there is an afterlife, that this woman was greeted on the other side by her husband, who pre-deceased her, and the murdered daughter who was taken away from her 20+ years ago... and I hope, too, that one of these days they'll all find time to meet up with my brother for lunch...

really??

2009-05-20T22:29:00.003-04:00

forecast for my trip to florida... hurrah! or not.

hi. zzzz. oh, right, i was typing...

2009-05-19T01:36:00.002-04:00

it's late but i can't sleep. i'm irritated. i'm trying to figure things out in my head and it's just not working. so my brain keeps spinning. and that keeps me from resting. and no rest = grumpy irritated angry annoyed. arrrgh.

testing. testing. yes. yes. hello? is this thing on?

2009-05-15T16:41:00.002-04:00

seems no one is blogging much lately, myself included... and i know why. you've all traded blogging for facebook. that little time-sucker is just taking over, isn't it? anyway, maybe no one's blogging because they're all busy doing things and not talking about doing things... could that be? august is busy incubating a baby, as is KG... august will be delivering in a mere 6 weeks 4 days (and yes, hers is scheduled so it's exactly 46 days) and KG will be delivering somewhere around my birthday. I'm pretty excited to meet the little guys. i even want to try holding one of them, maybe both, depending how it goes with the first one. lol. seriously, i'm really not so comfortable holding tiny babies. i worry i'll break them. they're tiny and fragile. once they hit the age where they can hold their head up on their own and look around, i'm pretty ok, but before that, it's a scary prospect. but i'm going to give it another go. i even volunteered to come over and let the baby sleep on me and tell hayden funny stories for half an hour so august could take a shower in peace once the baby is born... although, in reality, hayden will spend half an hour playing DS and when i leave he'll be like "what, raphie was here? when?"

update on me, for those who care. i didn't pass my stats class with a good enough score for it to count towards my degree, so i'm retaking it right now. and i'm going to pass that fugger with a 3.5 or better this time around. screw you numbers, you can't keep me down! although, i swear, if bingo suggests one more time that perhaps business isn't the degree for me, i might pinch him hard enough to leave a bruise. anyway, this little do-over pushes graduation into spring instead of december. and if i take ONE extra marketing class, then i'll have a management major and a marketing minor. it seems silly to not take ONE extra class to get the minor, right?

home again

2009-05-04T22:30:00.002-04:00

came home again on saturday night. i did the 1150 mile drive in one shot, all on my own. the almost 14 hours of daylight i encountered on the drive were a huge help, mind you. Anyway, on Sunday Bingo and I got up, well into the afternoon, and decided to drive out to Ann Arbor. It was an amazingly wonderful day... low 70s, dipping into the 60s as the sun went away. We had some dinner and wandered the UofM campus, stopping to smell the dogwood blossoms, take pictures and be goofy. At one point I turned to Bingo and said "Isn't it extra nice to be in love on such a perfect day like this?" and Bingo responded "I don't know, I love you everyday, even when it's not nice out" which reminded me why it was extra nice to be loved...

Trip pictures are up here, for those who are interested...

crush crush crushed...

2009-04-27T13:05:00.003-04:00

i'm back from my cruise. did you miss me? i came back with a monster crush on my cruise director, Butch. He was awesome...

and if that picture doesn't properly convey why i would have such a monster crush, then i'm sure this one will...

and if that doesn't explain it either, then this video will surely do it... his minnesota accent is maybe the cutest thing ever...

uploading trip pictures soon...

sigh

2009-04-15T17:13:00.002-04:00

the other day bingo and i got into an hours-long debate about religion. he answered a question i posed to him with such a ludicrous answer that i began to wonder just who the hell this person was i was intending to marry. lol. ok, so it wasn't quite so dramatic, but really, his answer to my question was so out of left field that it got me trying to understand his point of view a little more. to that end, he suggested i pick up this book. so i did. then bingo gave me a bible as a companion to my C.S. Lewis book. and then i felt overwhelmed by the entire process. i'm bringing the book with me on my trip, but i don't know that i'll be able to get through it, much less absorb its content. i think my religious starting point is just so far away from where any discussion on religion begins that at times it seems fruitless to even think about it. whatever. 27ish hours and i'll be on the road. hip hip hooray!

arrgh

2009-04-13T16:46:00.002-04:00

am suddenly feeling the crunch of the end of the semester. i *think* i located a stats tutor to help me complete my last few assignments. i'll know for sure in the next hour or so. hopefully that will pan out because there's no way i'm getting through it on my own... stats exam is then tomorrow night and i feel okay about that... wednesday will be term paper writing and preparing for my consumer behavior presentation... there does seem to be an issue with my econ final in that my prof is going out of town so i can't take the exam early... that would mean that instead of relaxing in florida for a week after my cruise, i'll have to drive right back. that would suck. I'm still hoping something can be worked out there. on the bright side, laundry is done and more than half the packing is done. just have some errands to run... call in for a prescription refill, get 2 scripts refilled, get dublin groomed, get him flea and tick medicine since he'll be in florida, and whatever else comes up. it's probably not all that much to deal with, but it feels a smidge overwhelming...

thursday

2009-04-09T15:38:00.002-04:00

oh, hi... didn't see you there. what's up? i'm just studying for an exam in my consumer behavior class. well, i was. or, i should be. anyway, get off my back. i'm doing what i can. i had to go replace a couple tires today. tires are expensive. and i'm broke. good thing i won some cash at the casino recently, otherwise i'd have been screwed. a week from tonight i'll grab the dub-dog and hop in the car to drive to florida. with a little luck i'll be in florida by friday night and saturday my mom and i will board a big ship for a week long cruise. Cozumel, Costa Maya, Belize City and Nassau. I'm very excited. i've never been on a cruise, so I don't really know what to expect, but I'm looking forward to some sun and some relaxation and the opportunity to take pictures of a zillion and one things i can't take pictures of in Michigan. I just have to get through this last week: a term paper and exam for my Econ class, a group paper, presentation and exam for my consumer behavior class (exam is tonight, actually) and an exam and several assignments (5, actually) in my stats class. I figure if I make it through the week without pulling all of my hair out, then the cruise will feel well-deserved (whether it actually is well-deserved is another issue entirely).

new threadless tees!

2009-04-08T17:35:00.008-04:00

last week i had an unusually lucky spell and managed to win a $50.00 gift certificate from Threadless. Seeing as how I ♥ Threadless and I'm broke and thus can't shop, it took me all of about 5 minutes to spend that gift certificate. Want to see which designs i picked? No? Better not look down...

take a breath, step away

2009-04-05T22:52:00.003-04:00

i'm in a weird head space right now. watching someone repeatedly make bad (and totally irrational) decisions is painful, and it consumes me. and it shouldn't. i have no power in the situation, so the energy spent feeling this anxiety is useless. right? so what can i do? all i can do is step away and hope for the best...

on an unrelated note, i'm really looking forward to finishing this semester, which will happen soon... finals start this week, papers are due nd then i'll be done... and what better way to celebrate the end of the semester than by going on a cruise, right? right!

oh, and i did go back to barnes and noble and finished reading Heather Armstrong's new book. I really enjoyed it. It was a quick read. A few hours cover to cover, but it was well written and touching, inspiring, jealousy-inducing. ha. Really, though... I enjoyed it...

Friday Night Reading

2009-04-03T23:31:00.002-04:00

I was bored out of my gourd tonight so I decided to take a trip to the Barnes and Noble, to read magazines and drink coffee. It's an old pastime of mine that I haven't done all that much lately. Anyway, after a couple hours of catching up on celebrity gossip and what's happening in the music world, I picked up Heather Armstrong's new book "It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita". It's about 240 some pages and I made it through 90+ before I decided to head home again. It's an easy read, but a really good read. I love Heather's style of writing. She's one of those people who knows how to tell a story, and tell it well, and tell it with appropriate humor and emotion. I literally cried and laughed out loud as I was reading. Literally. Anyhow, I'm on a budget, so sadly I won't be able to purchase the book anytime soon, but I'd be willing to bet I'll have it finished before the weekend's over if I make it back to a bookstore. And I'm betting I will...

Brad Warren apparently also has a new book out (Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate: A Trip Through Death, Sex, Divorce, and Spiritual Celebrity in Search of the True Dharma) which sounds interesting but as I was flipping through it I was reminded about how much I am annoyed by his heavy use of post scripts (they can be as long as a page on their own - just write it into the passage, Brad!). Anyway, I'm sure I'll read it at some point... it's just not near the top of my list at the moment...

Yummers...

2009-04-03T23:22:00.002-04:00

Finally tried this stuff. It was ok... Not great, but not bad. Very chewy/rubbery and once I realized it has only a gram of protein (it's made of tofu so i wrongly assumed it was protein packed) I decided it'd probably be my only time venturing into this particular pasta alternative. Paired the "pasta" with some sauteed zucchini and peanut sauce. I give the whole thing 3 out of 5 stars...

I got a whole ton of new stuff from Whole Foods the other day, so I'll be "reviewing" all kinds of new veggie meat products in the coming days...

The Helen's Kitchen mac and cheese with tofu steaks was not great. The broccoli tasted weird, the cheese sauce was bland and there was hardly any tofu steak at all. I'd be better off buying the tofu steaks on their own and making my own meal. Helen's Mac and Cheese? 1.5 out of 5 stars.

pssst... hey kristine...

2009-03-31T02:10:00.002-04:00

darn it all...

2009-03-27T15:29:00.001-04:00

my flickr pro account is about to expire. i hate when that happens! i really hate when it happens while i'm laid off.

ok, miller fans...

2009-03-27T13:54:00.002-04:00

anyone read these? i'm a big fan of readers letters, and have wanted to read this book for ages... anyone read it? enjoyed it? not so much? stick to the fiction? anyone? anyone? bueller? what about this?

on a side note, it's 60 degrees and i'm listening to all my favorite warm weather music. new order. old bosstones (umm, almost 20 year old bosstones. whaaaat?) the pixies...

beach reading

2009-03-26T15:43:00.002-04:00

robert and i stopped into a great little used bookstore by his house yesterday. It's amazingly well organized - far more so than just about any other used bookstore in the area that i've been to. Anyway, i was on a mission to pick up a couple books for the cruise, since I imagine I'll have plenty of time to read while I'm lounging on deck sipping fruity drinks with umbrellas, right? Anyway, bingo bought me a few books and I'm stoked to get reading... he grabbed this one for me, which he described as a little hippy dippy, but apparently still wanted me to read it, i found this gem myself (and no, i've never read it before, surprisingly) which looks to be a very quick read, and finally grabbed a copy of this which, amazingly enough, i've also never read.

hey amy

2009-03-26T02:12:00.001-04:00

i'm not sure if i have your current e-mail, but wanted to make sure to acknowledge your donation, so i'm doing it here... it's much appreciated, by many people... ♥♥

chug chug chugging...

2009-03-23T23:30:00.002-04:00

the semester is chugging along and everyday i'm a little more excited to be a little closer to the end of the semester. tomorrow i'll find out how i did on my dreaded, panic-attack inducing stats exam. i came ut of it feeling like i did pretty good, so i'm eager to see how i did... i've been working on stats homework since this afternoon, trying to stay up to date and on track, but it's rough. the minute i'm not sure what to do i get overwhlemed with a feeling of panic because everything rides on my ability to pass this class and this is my last shot at this class, so it's now or never. the good news is that i finally got my tax return which means i'll finally be able to go pick up my meds. in a week or so, i should no longer be prone to panic about anything and everything. this will likely make bingo very happy and he has been forced to deal with a middle of the night panic attack on more than one occasion in the past month. it will also make studying and doing homework a much less stressful endeavor and that will be incredibly helpful. blah blah. ot much to say, really... don't even know why i'm blogging...

this day

2009-03-23T00:01:00.001-04:00

as of today, i'm officially older than my older brother ever was...

interwhat?

2009-03-22T22:15:00.000-04:00

as a cost-cutting measure, i recently had to turn off the data pln from my blackberry, making my blackberry, a giant tease. i can't get e-mail, i can't go on the web, i can't even get or send texts. my google maps, which i'd started to use ALL THE TIME, is of no use without a data plan. i feel totally useless when i'm out anywhere. autumn, hayden and i went to ikea over the weekend and while we were there, autumn asked if there was a babys r us around, and instinctively i thought to google it, except, oops, i can't. i know, it's no big deal. i lived a lifetime without the internet in my pocket, but now that i've had all that convenience in my life, it's super annoying to be without it. but maybe one day i'll be working again, right? maybe? one day?

really?

2009-03-19T13:28:00.002-04:00

remember that amber alert from the other day? well, both kids involved have been found safe and sound... which is great news... but in the article linked above it says the kid left a note saying he and his friend needed a break and not to worry about them... which is really pretty different from the note indicating a murder / suicide that was mentioned days ago... in the end, all that matters is that the kids are safe, though, right? well, that and the fact that police can go back to focusing on whatever they need to be doing instead of looking for some kids on an impromptu spring break...

well, this is going to make things difficult.

2009-03-19T13:19:00.001-04:00

i just got notice that i'm not eligible for summer financial aid. which is super, because i can totally afford a couple classes on my own... or, umm, NOT. on to plan b... which is figuring out a new plan...

making wishes come true...

2009-03-18T20:15:00.003-04:00

My friend Taryn, who is the sister of my brother's best friend Kirk (who passed away 8 months ago), is participating in a walk-a-thon at the Detroit Zoo to benefit the Make A Wish foundation. Her friend Kevin is actually undergoing brain surgery today, but was granted a wish prior to his surgery. My brother was never granted a "make-a-wish wish" when he was sick, but he was often offered free tickets to games and movies and other assorted treats by a similar organization called Rainbow Connection. In my opinion, it's a great organization and helping make sick kids happy has got to do amazing things for your karma, right?

Anyway, the point is, I'm trying to help her in her effort to collect donations. If you're interested, click here to donate. I'll be donating some myself just as soon as my tax refund check comes.

About Make-A-Wish: 8% of their funds go towards managing the organization, 14% goes towards fund raising and 78% goes toward the actual services provided by the program. To read about the first wish, the one that got the organization going, click here. Just a warning, it's a real tear-jerker...

oh old navy...

2009-03-18T17:13:00.002-04:00

i'm going to be living in these all summer long. so comfy. like pajamas! and i REALLY hope to be able to pick up one of these for my cruise... because, really? a swimsuit and a comfy throw-over dress with flips flops is all i need. right? right.

dinner, post exam

2009-03-17T21:53:00.002-04:00

I came home starving after my exam. SO I lightly sauteed tofu in some garlic, onion and olive oil. While that was cooking, I boiled some brown rice in veggie boullion. When it had finished cooking, but still had a little liquid, I added peanut butter, garlic powder, onion powder, salt and cayenne pepper to make a spicy peanut sauce. Tofu got mixed in before serving. Soooooo good. yum yum! I only wish I had some more apples so I could make my crumbly apple cinnamon dessert. Sugar free, except the fructose in the apples!

Did I mention I feel good about the exam? Because I do. I sure do!

really? lame!

2009-03-17T16:34:00.002-04:00

This is my new favorite peanut butter --->
it's creamy and tasty and just plain good. It's $2.18 a jar... at the Wal-Mart 4.4 miles north of my house. However, at the Wal-Mart on my way home from campus (11.8 miles west of my house), it's $2.36. Really Wal-Mart? That blows. Granted, the per capita income in the area of my campus versus north of my home is probably different, but i can't imagine it's different enough to warrant an 8% increase in the price. I mean, really? Which got me wondering just how much more I'm paying per trip for the convenience of shopping on my home from school. I always buy the same items, so it'll be easy to actually compare on my next trip. But, for now, let's go with the peanut butter pricing structure to form a basis of comparison. Every week I spend between 20-40 bucks on groceries. Let's average it out to 30 bucks. So let's say I go to the Wal-Mart north of me and spend 30 bucks a week for the year. That's $1560 a year. This is certainly a modest estimate, as I've been shopping bare bones lately, but whatever. So, let's say I decide to do all my shopping on my way home from school, at the cost of an 8% increase on everything I buy. That's an extra almost 130 bucks a year. For picking one location versus the next closest location of the same store? That's madness. That's 58 jars of peanut butter! So, that's like having a coupon for a free jar of peanut butter every single time i go shopping, if i go to the less convenient location. So frigging annoying.

Really daily spark?

2009-03-17T02:51:00.003-04:00

Dailyspark.com has a little article up about the "10 healthiest foods" and how most americans don't eat them. The article was actually called "The Ten Healthiest Foods You've Never Tried". Not that you don't eat them regularly, but you've never even tried them! They then challenged readers "how many have you eaten?" Are you ready for this exotic list?

1. Kiwi
2. Broccoli rabe
3. Brazil nuts
4. Edamame
5. Red lentils
6. Quinoa
7. Canned salmon
8. Prawns (shrimp)
9. Whole grain and multigrain pastas
10. Pomegranate

I know, I KNOW! Where would one even find these rare gems?
They were kidding, right? It's some weird St Patrick's Day prank?

futures

2009-03-17T00:44:00.002-04:00

If all goes well, I will graduate in December. Holy crap, I've said that so many times, i hope to hell it is true this time... Then I think I'm going to try for either this program, which requires taking the MTTC, getting a couple letters of recommendation, earning 30 hrs of work with children (pre-program admission), etc, or this one which requires taking the GMAT, but for which i'm probably pretty well-prepared. At this point, though, I really just want to finish my bachelors. pretty, pretty please, universe!

Amber Alert

2009-03-17T00:03:00.004-04:00

I was watching TV and I heard the annoying tones of the Emergency Alert Broadcast System and assumed it was a monthly test. I glanced up, though, and realized it wasn't a test. they were using the system to broadcast an Amber Alert. When I heard the details, I have to say I was startled and incredibly saddened. They reported a 15 year old boy missing, last seen in the Dayton, OH area in a car with an 18 year old guy. They then added that the 15 year old boy was considered to be in "extreme" danger. According to the Plymouth Twp police "based on writings discovered there is a possibility of homicide-suicide." Holy crap. This kid's poor parents! I can't even imagine...

Too cool for school. and by cool, i mean nice outside.

2009-03-16T17:59:00.003-04:00

What a great day. These random warm spring days are going to keep popping up occasionally and then will be swallowed up the heat of summer, so enjoy them while you can! Tomorrow it's supposed to be 67, and while riding my bik sounds like an awesome plan, I'll actually be studying for a stats exam. Wish me luck. And I repeat, WISH ME LUCK. and send me lots of good smart vibes, please. I NEED them.

As I got to campus on this fine spring afternoon, I was greeted by a gaggle of deer. Seriously, there was at least 12 lounging in a grassy area next to a parking lot, and probably more hiding nearby... i love that about this campus. it's not rural by any means, but I see more wildlife here than anywhere else... deer, foxes, hawks... awesome.

mr dublin

2009-03-15T01:29:00.003-04:00

see this guy:

it's been 6 years since he came home to be my bestest buddy. The actual day he came home was 3/10/03. And we've been besties ever since.

a public service announcement

2009-03-14T17:52:00.003-04:00

This Chris Brown / Rihanna thing that's been in the news is sparking all sorts of debate and new stories on the topic of abusive relationships. Have you heard the results of some of these surveys they've done for various news outlets? I can only hope the surveys aren't valid, because what it says for the generation coming up is frightening. It's absolutely astounding to me what people are willing to put up with. And just because someone isn't punching you doesn't mean they're treating you well. No relationship is perfect or flawless but, for fuck's sake, if everyone you know is saying "what are you doing?" then chances are good that some or all of these symptoms are evident to them. How many of these traits are present in YOUR relationship. The answer should be none.

Dominance — Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.

Humiliation — An abuser will do everything he can to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

Isolation — In order to increase your dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.

Threats — Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.

Intimidation — Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.

Denial and blame — Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility onto you: Somehow, his violence and abuse is your fault.

aww...

2009-03-11T16:46:00.002-04:00

rumor has it ryan adams and mandy moore got married today...

the kensie dress from chicago

2009-03-09T16:02:00.002-04:00

might not look so cute in the picture, but it was surprisingly flattering on me.

T-minus 39 days

2009-03-09T03:13:00.000-04:00

cookin'

2009-03-05T12:45:00.002-05:00

being broke, as i am, has forced me to start cooking again, which is actually a good thing. i'm slowlry realizing that i might not be the world's worst cook. i'm not going to be entering top chef anytime soon, mind you, but i've been making some totally edible food. yesterday i made a "chicken" fried rice which turned out good. my brown rice spicy peanut sauce is usually pretty tasty, i can whip up a quick and tasty pasta with veggie meat sauce... i haven't made it recently, but i make a killer taco salad... my PB&J roll-ups are top notch. My oatmeal with pecans and blackberries is always decent... the only problem now is that i'm running really low on groceries and won't have any money until next week at this time, so it's going to make cooking a little more challenging. lol. i have enough soup to last me nearly a week, so i won't starve. i just won't get any protein... you feel sorry for me, right? i know you don't. i wouldn't be this broke if i hadn't gone to chicago.

An explanation of the medication situation

2009-03-04T19:24:00.002-05:00

i've made a point of staying on my meds for the last year or so. i've tried very hard to be compliant with my meds because it makes my life easier, makes school less daunting and makes bingo's life easier. the problem came when i hit up the pharmacy and they told me i had 2 refills left in my files but they were both expired. the only way this is possible is if the pharmacy was filling more recently written scripts before older ones. and if the script is for identical medication, i would think common sense would dictate you use the oldest first. no big deal, right? just call the doctor and request more... which is precisely what i did... except my doctor was out of the country for 2 weeks. ad now that he's finally back in the country, i've f'ed up my bank account and will be sitting in the red until next week. believe me, with OCD symptoms coming out more and more everyday, i would really prefer this to not be an issue. i would REALLY prefer this to not be an issue. some symptoms are a nuisance (counting), others are a freaking nightmare (itching head to toe after hearing the word rash, for example). anyway, just wanted to offer a little clarity on that particular segment of my previous blog post.

can't trust myself

2009-03-04T00:39:00.002-05:00

i can't (or don't) trust myself at the moment. I'm going through some ridiculous inner turmoil and i don't know how much of it is real and how much of it is a medication-deprived temporary lull in reason. i went to Chicago over the weekend and, as i commented to Amirah at one point, Clarity is really not the Jimmy Eat World record to listen to when you're going through relationship woes. Singing out lyrics like "I don't know how, but I know I want out" and feeling them to your bones just isn't a good mental place to be. And the album is just chock full of lyrical gems that make one want to rip their heart out of their chest. Is it fuel for the fire or simply coincidental timing? I hesitate to even blog about this topic, because people read into things and, i fear, that there's at least one person who may find their way to this entry who will gloat at the situation and if at all possible, I'd prefer to prevent that. To summarize without all the dirty details, I've been trying to figure out if Bingo and I are on the same path. I'm worried we're living this scenario...

Person 1: I want to take a trip
Person 2: Really? Me too! We should take a trip together!
Person 1: Totally, let's do it.
Person 1's unspoken trip plans: bike riding cross country to Oregon.
Person 2's unspoken trip plans: A motor home drive to Georgia.

The obvious problem being that just because 2 people both want to take a trip doesn't mean it's the same trip. Bingo and I both want to get married and start a life. But is it the same life? I want to have kids. Preferably two. Originally I wanted 1, then I had a panic attack realizing that that one child would inevitably be left alone with no extended family, and that's not ok for me. I want to have a house with at least 2 bathrooms and a yard for dublin and the kids to play in, in a neighborhood with a good school district, and to have enough money to not worry about whether or not we can afford to give the kids ten bucks to see a weekend movie with friends. I want to be able to travel occasionally, whether that be to Florida or out of the country, or up north for the weekend. I want a dinner out to not be a once-yearly happening. These seem like simple things, but if your partner considers a meal out to be an extravagance and a movie to be a luxury, and travel to be totally out of the question, then that's not a good fit. Not to say that Bingo and I don't agree on these things, I'm simply saying that weeding through every detail to ensure we are on the same page is difficult. It's all the more important to feel like there's substance behind an answer, because, let's face it, anything can be said in the spirit of appeasing someone, but whether or not you're willing or able to do the things you say is entirely another story. So here I sit, wondering if these panic attacks are founded in a genuine concern or a lack of medication. I need to feel like we're working towards something. My brain isn't content to have blind faith that everything will work out. I need something concrete. Or do I? Is wanting something concrete a fantasy because no one ever really gets that? There are no guarantees. And what if we come to the realization that we're not heading to the same goal? What are you willing to give up for your dreams?

new glasses

2009-03-02T22:45:00.003-05:00

What I really really want is a pair of Ray-Ban new wayfarer frames... but I'm broke, so I got the $12.95 (complete with frames, lenses, etc) Zenni version... next time I would pay the extra 4.95 for anti reflective coating, though...

aww, shucks!

2009-03-02T15:02:00.004-05:00

guess someone's not a fan... lol.
and lest there be any confusion, my comment came first. they're posted oldest on the bottom, newest on top.
from myspace:

new Threadless tee

2009-03-02T11:29:00.003-05:00

Picked up a new Threadless tee while I was in Chicago. Cute, right? nothing rhymes with orange...

Chicago's a smidge of heaven tonight...

2009-03-01T02:50:00.000-05:00

I took off out of Detroit yesterday morning. I needed a break and some time away to think about some things and a Jimmy Eat World show was a fantastic reason to get the heck out of dodge. Last night we had dinner at the chicago diner, which was fantastic, and caught an improv show which was so-so. We watched persepolis and called it a night by shortly after midnight. Got up this morning an hour earlier than I needed to (damn time change) and spent some time talking to bingo. That's a tale for another day. Anyway, we got breakfast at a little veg place called victory's banner and then headed to the institute of arts. Admission was free the entire month of february and today being the last free day and a saturday, it was packed. We spent a good few hours checking it out though. Then we hit the bean in millenium park. I've never seen it in person and it does make for a fun photo op, so that was cool. From there we made a trip to intelligentsia where I had the tastiest soy latte I've had in years... Maybe ever! It was so freaking good. And it was the perfect temperature -hot but not too hot to drink. And believe me, a warm beverage was much appreciated since my face was freezing off. Then we hit up the mall (watertower place?), did some browsing. I tried on a cute and super comfy kensie dress, but at 90 bucks couldn't even consider bringing it home. I did however pick up a new pair of brown and green canvas puma sneakers courtesy of miss amirah (actually courtesy a friend of hers). They're super cute and will be great for spring (which should come sooner rather than later, please). After we left puma we grabbed a quick late lunch (a fantastic portabella mushroom panini with brie, spinach and slow-roasted tomatoes and a curried butternut squash soup). Did I mention we also stopped at garrett's so I could pick up some chicago mix popcorn? Because we did. I am eating my way through chicago.

And now for the good stuff... The show! The super awesome bestest show... Jimmy Eat World put out a record called Clarity when I was living in Boston. To celebrate the album's tenth anniversary they are playing ten shows where they are playing the album from beginning to end (including the 17 minute goodbye sky harbor, albeit a shortened version). The shows are all at smallish venues and have all been sold out for ages. Amirah got us in and we scoped out a great spot with unimpeded views. Bob nanna was standing near us, which was slightly distracting not just because I liked braid and looooved hey mercedes but because I have a little mini-crush on him too. But that's neither here nor there. Jim and the boys got on stage and killed it. Hearing an album played live start to finish is an unusually satisfying experience. You know what's coming, but it's no less enjoyable, in fact in a weird way it made it especially fun. Plus, Clarity is made up of so many great songs with such emotional, relatable lyrics... One of my oft quoted favroite lyrics comes from this album: "what you ignore is priceless to me". So good. After finishing the clarity songs they took a brief retreat and then returned for an AMAZING encore which started with a relatively rare b-side called What I Would Say To You Now which just happens to be one of my absolute fucking favorite jimmy eat world songs (tied with 1 other song for the top honors) and one they seldom play live. My heart soared, I thrust my handy G9 into amirahs hand to record video and rocked out like I was the poster child for early 90s emo kids. I don't care how goofy I looked (and I surely did look goofy) I was so happy to hear that song. They went right from WIWSTYN to No Sensitivity which is the other afformentioned favorite song. This combo of the entire amazing clarity album followed by my 2 favorite JEW songs made my night... Maybe my year. They played another 4 song (pain, 23, the middle and sweetness) and then it was over. An hour and a half passed in what seemed like minutes. Moments of such unadulterated joy are rare so I'm trying to fully appreciate this bliss. I will drift off to bed, ears ringing softly, visions of happiness filling my head.

Did anyone make it through this entire post? I doubt it. And if you did, you probably just skimmed, right? No matter... Even though these blogs are posted for the world to see, I often go back and read my archives to be reminded of the good, the bad and the ugly of my life. Sorry if this one bores you. It's thrilling to me. What was that lyric again? Yeah, Jim gets it. Xoxo
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

ain't it true, though?

2009-02-24T15:44:00.001-05:00

Toledo Museum of Art

2009-02-23T15:32:00.002-05:00

So a few weeks ago Bingo and I took a little roadtrip to Ohio (a whole 30 or so miles!) to visit the Toledo Museum of Art. Neither of us had ever been, so we figured it was worth a shot. The museum is free (always) and parking is only 5 bucks so it was certainly in our price range. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised because the museum is HUGE. It has a great collection of contemporary art, and rooms and rooms full of asian, african, american, and ancient paintings, sculptures and an entire building dedicated to glass works. It also has a sculpture garden which has a Parisian Metropolitain subway entrance, designed by Guimard. Even though it was snowy and freezing cold, I dragged Bingo out to see it. I think they're strikingly beautiful and while it wasn't quite as awe-inspiring as it is when seen with Paris as the backdrop, it was still nice. In the glass pavillion we watched a glassblowing demo, which was unexpectedly fun, and enjoyed a coffee and a little snacky-poo. We spent several hours there, but still weren't able to see the entire collection... I highly recommend it...

because i have nothing of my own to say...

2009-02-23T01:49:00.002-05:00

from dooce, it'a about your relationship:

What are your middle names?
Bettina (did I just admit that publicly?) and Lee

How long have you been together?
15 months

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Maybe 6 weeks...

Who asked whom out?
He asked me out, but I got to pick the place (Starbucks on 16 & John R)

How old are each of you?
I'm 32, he's 39.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
It's a tie. His only sibling passed away as a baby, mine passed away before we met.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Money. It's a classic.

Did you go to the same school?
Nope.

Are you from the same home town?
Well, if you consider Detroit to be our hometowns, then yeah, but he's from south of the city, and I'm from north, so not really, no...

Who is smarter?
I think we're pretty well matched, but there are subjects on which he kicks my ass and the opposite is probably also true...

Who is the most sensitive?
I'm more likely to to burst into tears without warning, but he's not exactly easy going.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We call it "Noodles" - it's actually a sushi bar called Black Pine Tree. It's cheap and tasty.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Chicago

Who has the craziest exes?
None of my exes are crazy, and none of them would call me and leave a message that just repeats the words "I'm bored, call me" for 4 solid minutes, so I'll say him.

Who has the worst temper?
Him.

Who does the cooking?
Him again.

Who is the neat-freak?
Neither of us is a neat freak.

Who is more stubborn?
He is.

Who hogs the bed?
He says I do, but I feel like I stay pretty well curled up on my side.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me, but only because his schedule is ridiculous and he might not even go to sleep until 7 am.

Where was your first date?
Starbucks, 16 and John R

Who is more jealous?
I don't think either of us are particularly jealous.

How long did it take to get serious?
9 months maybe?

Who eats more?
He does, but I've been surgiclly altered, so it's really not a fair question.

Who does the laundry?
We each do our own.

Who's better with the computer?
I'll say me.

Who drives when you are together?
I do, unless I'm not feeling well, then he does.

You do the math. My brain doesn't work.

2009-02-20T15:13:00.003-05:00

Got my blood work back...

My iron is at 28. Normal for an adult female is 65-165.

Recommended daily iron for an adult female is 18 mg. I currently take 63 mg. In addition to an iron-rich food intake.

And now I have to take even more. For real? I'm going to double what I take every day and see how it goes. The IV and injectable iron, either of which would remedy this situation in about 2 weeks, are apparently rarely covered by insurance. Lame. So instead I'll have to take 7 times as much iron as a normal person per day. Yeah, that rules. And is totally cheap. LAME!

Hurrah!

2009-02-17T23:05:00.003-05:00

Baby G is expected to arrive at the end of September... Everybody knows that all the most awesome people are born at the end of September, right August? Oh, and speaking of August, she has a baby on the way too. It's baby pandemonium around here... so much to do... but don't worry, I'm already baby shopping...

a useless trip to the ER

2009-02-15T15:16:00.002-05:00

I haven't been feeling well lately... achy (and headachy), worn out (i slept 20 of the last 24 hours), cold hands (that fall asleep all the time) and feet, night sweats, difficulty catching my breath, particularly with the slightest amount of exertion (i.e. walking up a set of stairs). Anyway, it's all annoying, but hardly worth a trip to the doctors, especially since money is tighter than tight right now. that changed on friday, though, when suddenly everytime i stood up everything went white and i felt like i was going to pass out. after a good 12 hours or so of that, and a panic attack, robert took me to the ER. They ran some tests and most of them came out normal or on the low side of normal... hemoglobin was 11, which is apparently a little low but didn't concern them... they did an EKG which was fine except my heart rate was low (45-50 instead of 60-90), blood pressure was on the low side of normal (which is normal for me), blah blah. Anyway, all they did was give me some IV fluids because they said I was dehydrated. The fluids did indeed seem to help the dizziness subside (for about 6 hours), but, really? needing to drink a glass of water seems like a stupid reason to go to the ER. They told me to follow up with my primary care doc, get more thorough bloodwork done, including checking my thyroid (i guess maybe my thyroid meds need adjusting)...

it's all very frustrating, because i really just don't feel well. i'm worn out like i was when i had mono, except i don't have mono... i have trouble believing that i'm feeling this way for weeks now because i don't drink enough water... this is like the last time i went o the Er when they told me i was fine and then it turned out that actually i wasn't fine and i needed my gall bladder out... so anyway, i'm really hoping that a follow up with my primary care doc will indeed turn up something that is wrong and can be fixed, because something is wrong. all of this stuff isn't normal for me... blah blah...

heating things up in the dairy case

2009-02-10T02:20:00.002-05:00

tonight after class i needed to do some grocery shopping and since i'm a dork and don't enjoy shopping i decided to call dana to see if she wanted to come along. she did and so we hit up the new wal-mart by my school. we were talking amongst ourselves as we shopped and as we chatted with the soy milk fridge door open i realized the employee stocking the dairy case (from inside the fridge) was looking at us through the shelf. i thought it was a little weird, but figured it probably sucks to work inside the cold dairy case stocking things. then i realized his friend was standing a foot away and also staring through the shelves at us. "you staying warm back there?" i'm a friendly sort, right? they're working all bundled up in layers, i can at least be friendly, right? his response: "it'd be warmer if you two were back here with us." umm, ok, thanks, dairy guy, but no thanks. i'm sure he's a super guy and all, and his friend probably is too, but seriously? don't hit on women through the shelves of the dairy case. it's just not ok. lol...

you would think...

2009-02-05T16:24:00.002-05:00

you would think i would be just rocking right through this semester since i'm laid off and have nothing better to do than focus on school, but it's been a real challenge to drum up any motivation at all. i have my first exam in a couple of hours and i'll be ridiculous with the relief when its over. as a totally uninteresting bit of trivia... this will be my first blue book exam. i've done essay exams a zillion times or more, but never had a prof who actually used blue books... so i'll be off to the bookstore before class to pick up a scantron AND a blue book. wheeee! can you feel the excitement?

hurrah for quaker quick oats!

2009-02-03T02:37:00.005-05:00

i'm on an oatmeal kick. i've been mixing quaker quick oats with cinnamon and splenda, and a little powder creamer (and water of course) and snacking on it. it's very tasty. very very tasty. today i went by whole foods and picked up some walnut pieces and dried cranberries (you have no idea how hard it is to find dried fruit without sugar), so now i throw those into my oatmeal too and it's like the ridiculous best ever... rumor has it oatmeal is high in iron, so maybe that's why it's been sounding so good. i'm anemic like it's going out of style and they say our body craves certain foods where we're nutritionally lacking, so who knows... i'm also exhausted, and constantly hungry... maybe i'm pregnant. ive heard it's going around ...

i'm kidding, by the way, i don't actually think i'm pregnant... but when i do, internets, you'll read about it here...

you parents and your "unconditional love...

2009-02-01T23:45:00.003-05:00

30 seconds and this kid puts parents in their place. lol

this is what exhaustion looks like

2009-01-30T11:57:00.002-05:00

this man:

2009-01-29T23:48:00.002-05:00

is the star of my dirty dreams. you didn't want to know? i don't care.

this sucks

2009-01-29T23:11:00.002-05:00

the last several days have been a whirlwind of stress, for a multitude of reasons. in the midst of an already stressful situation i was faced with the realization that a suspicion of mine was true. see, i actually met "the other woman". the thing is, though... she's not the other woman in MY relationship. Bingo isn't cheating on me. But it's a relationship that I see and, am, in some way a part of... I'm stuck in this awful position of knowing something I would rather not know because it's potentially devastating to someone i love very much. but i know. i can't not know. i can't forget or pretend its not going on, because the idea of such a horrible betrayal (in my mind) sits inside me like a rock. it makes me question everything. it makes me suspicious and doubting and i hate this feeling. im angry, though maybe i have no right to be, and hurt, though, again, maybe i shouldn't be... it's wearing on me. maybe it's hitting me especially hard because bingo and i are in the beginning stages of planning a life together, of starting a marriage and i look at this other marriage, which i always thought was great and see that no, it's not. at least, it's not the relationship i'd always envisioned it to be from the outside... i don't know, i'm rambling... it just sucks...

for dublin

2009-01-28T22:37:00.004-05:00

dublin wants me to let everyone know that he's a big fan of this new dog food, which is animal friendly, tasty, and easy on his sensitive belly. he likes it much better than any of the other foods we've tried lately, which means, basically, that he will actually eat it. yeeeeeah for dublin actually eating his dog food.

this is a good look for me, right?

2009-01-28T15:49:00.001-05:00

note sexy broken front tooth:

recipe for disaster!

2009-01-26T20:41:00.001-05:00

a bunch of barilla plus pasta, followed by an entire glass of crystal light, followed by another half glass of crystal light. and now i might be dying.

why i'm only having british babies

2009-01-26T15:30:00.001-05:00

monday morning

2009-01-26T10:56:00.002-05:00

i've been up since 4 AM, which is ok because i was asleep by 9:15 at the latest. my dad had surgery this morning, so i've been camping out in the waiting room here at beaumont. they have wi-fi and starbucks, which makes waiting around at the hospital far less stressful than t was, say, ten years ago... my stomach is a wreck. i guess nerves are nerves, whether you have something to distract yourself with or not... i did just talk to my dad. he's not in his room yet, but he's out of surgery and doing well... hurrah for that...

if you're still curious...

2009-01-24T22:37:00.001-05:00

tiffany finally put up a picture of the necklace bingo got me for my birthday...

blah blah blah

2009-01-24T19:21:00.004-05:00

i'm blogging a lot today. not really doing much and nothing much to say, so blogging seems like a suitable way to waste time. i could do something constructive like homework, but that's no fun... right? i was thinking about going to grab some dinner but then i remembered that i have leftover yakisoba. yummm. it's funny, i almost don't remember how to spend time on my own... i used to do it all the time and now i'm feeling sort of lost. coffee shop? book store? read a book? see a movie? watch a dvd? catch up on tivo? sleep? sleep is good. i'm exhausted these days. my iron is especially low, i think. i should get it checked. monday my dad is having surgery so i'll be hanging out in the waiting room, hoping for all to go well. then i need to get my passport renewed sometime sooner rather than later... with all this time i have on my hands being laid off, you'd think i could get everything done and not have to worry about anything, but that hardly seems to be the case...

and on an unrelated note, i'd like to congratulate my friends K&B on the conception of their first spawn...

theme song for a saturday

2009-01-24T17:19:00.000-05:00

Che

2009-01-24T16:41:00.002-05:00

The Main Art is showing Che and I really would like to go see it. They're showing both parts (The Argentine and Guerilla) together, so to see it is to dedicate 4 plus hours to watching a spanish language movie. I'm wondering if it might not be a better idea to wait until I can pick up the DVD and don't necessarily have to sit for 257 minutes straight. If anyone is feeling brave and wants to go check it out, let me know...

crying

2009-01-24T02:43:00.003-05:00

this has been a day. i cried this morning, tears of joy and relief and satisfaction. then i cried again. tears of hurt, of anger, of frustration. and now tears of sadness and loss, irrational as they may be. this day should be over. i'm ready for tomorrow. a solid night's sleep and a new day and all will be right with the world again. isnt that how it's supposed to go?

why i won't be moving to rural michigan...

2009-01-23T17:54:00.002-05:00

slow show - the national

2009-01-20T17:31:00.000-05:00

this song is currently making me swoon...

tuesday

2009-01-20T16:12:00.002-05:00

i feel like ass today. my back is aching, my stomach is crampy, my nose is stuffed, i can't figure out my statistics homework to save my life and i'm cold. oh, and whiny, did i mention whiny? whiny is a big one... obviously. but there are good things brewing in the world, or so i'd like to believe... i guess time will tell, but optimism is on the agenda.

i cried and cried.

2009-01-17T19:27:00.003-05:00

just finished watching this week's grey's anatomy... i cried a bazillion times at the end... i cried first when derek's mom sat down with him on the bench... and then when major hunt and christina talked in her bathroom... and then at the end when eric stolz disregarded meredith's medical "advice"... i'm such a sap. and a cry-baby.

so...

2009-01-15T17:38:00.002-05:00

i can understand why people might want to do a colon cleanse... it sounds healthy... and that's swell... but i don't understand why they're then inclined to take horribly graphic pictures of the worm-like monstrosities that come out of them AND then send those pictures to a website to share them with the world. i men, really? eww.

Homeland Security - Hurrah

2009-01-15T13:30:00.000-05:00

Has anyone else found this gem of a new reality show on ABC? it's called Homeland Security USA... the first episode was loaded with people trying to sneak into the US and smuggle drugs etc... and being that i live in a border town (generally speaking) i was curious as to whether or not any of the border crossings near me would make it onto the show... well, i was just watching episode 2 online nd sure enough, not even 3 minutes in and the Ambassador Bridge crossing it the focus... but is it for drugs? or humans? maybe illegal weapons? Nope... it's for smuggling HUMAN SKULLS. yep, that's how we roll.

watch it here - it should start playing right at the beginning of the detroit part...

I need your help, all 3 people who read my blog...

2009-01-13T19:29:00.008-05:00

Robert, his friend's daughter Mary and some stranger at Panera Bread all think this dog looks like me... and I disagree... what do YOU think? Vote there ---->

because it does.

2009-01-12T22:40:00.001-05:00

monday

2009-01-12T12:24:00.002-05:00

last night kristine and brandon and i went to check out a new improv club in ferndale (go! comedy) and it was great. I haven't laughed that hard in ages... I'm thinking we'll definitely be going back... alright, my unemployed ass is off to get some coffee and buy some school books...

what bingo wakes up to. lucky guy, right?

2009-01-09T11:35:00.000-05:00

hi.

2009-01-09T00:40:00.001-05:00

i've started tumbling. i thought you should know.

What I'm Listening To: Post Holiday Edition

2009-01-08T16:51:00.004-05:00

Hurrah for holidays (and birthdays, whatever)...

I got a nice size haul of new music thanks to the holidays (and an amazon gift card from bridget from my birthday that i hadn't used yet)...

So now my happy ears are listening to oodles of new music. yippee!

Ben gave me the 7 inch of To Dream The Impossible Dream and Next To Nothing

Bingo gave me Coldplay Viva La Vida

Bridget's gift card gave me:
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
The National - Boxer
Frightened Rabbit - The Midnight Organ Fight

I suck at doing "reviews" of music, so i'll just recommend that you all run out to your favorite music site and preview these records. they're good stuffs, i promise...

morale on the ship, it had sunk mighty low...

2009-01-06T17:32:00.002-05:00

they tried to keep me down, but it didn't work. classes start today and this morning i got an e-mail from my advisor that they were dropping me from ALL of my classes due to a pre-req issue. umm, what?? you're dropping me out of all of my classes on the day classes start? I registered MONTHS ago... so i scrambled and (miraculously) got 3 new (totally different) classes to fit my schedule. i will be so beyond ecstatic when i'm finally done. someone please remind me how much i hate school when i start talking about taking the GMAT and applying to grad school...

on an unrelated note, my snotty, stuffy, feverish self got to sleep a solid 11 hours of cold medicine induced sleep last night, cuddled up against bingo for the first time in 4 weeks, so life's not all bad...

home

2009-01-05T19:44:00.002-05:00

so i finished my 1200 mile trek home today and found myself in the loving arms of the fiance that i haven't seen for 4 whole weeks. what better way to greet him than sick as a dog, right? yeah, seriously? i woke up so sick today. swollen glands, fever, runny nose, sinus infection. seriously? all i wanted was to come home and be close to my beau and now i have to keep my distance because i'm sick. lame!

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T15:24:00.000-05:00

I'm starting out 2009 in style... Waiting for a flight out of Boston. Ha. But last night was great. The Bosstones played, then we retired to a suite at the biltmore for a few hours of drinks and good cheer with vegas and sirois (and assorted others I probably couldn't name if I tried - still not sure how they ended up in our room) before floating off to sleep on the biggest, comfiest beds on the planet. Woke up a few hours later and had time to grab mimosas and brunch with joe at the down city diner (which was great) before taking off for the airport. The only thing missing was a midnight kiss with my love, who was on the road at midnight. The whole week was great, really. The set lists were amazing, the basement of the middle east (where the shows were) is as familiar as home, brunch with dicky was great, got to talk wedding plans with laura for ages, saw a million friendly faces and will be heading home totally content. There's more pictures (none worth posting from new haven, though) but they'll have to wait until I'm back in florida. And I'll probably need a good solid 8 hours of sleep, too, before I can function.

Happy 2009 everyone! Hope your evening was safe and fun and that the new year brings a whole mess of good things your way.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Throwdown so far...

2008-12-29T14:56:00.004-05:00

Throwdown Pictures...

Night One

Night Two

Night Three

And a video of Wrong Thing Right, Then and Pirate Ship...

raph*star

Do Life 5k Detroit

Couch to 5k

The Familiar Unfamiliar

4.13.11

Update 2.15.11

Struggling

L.A. Birthday Details

it's a mumford & sons Saturday, minus the mumford & sons

Happy Valentine's Day, Bingo-love...

Could it be?

today

Mind, Body & Spirits

Summer, I hardly knew you...

update

statistically speaking...

*sigh*

Henry Roth - Cameron

are you kidding me?

another goodbye

really??

hi. zzzz. oh, right, i was typing...

testing. testing. yes. yes. hello? is this thing on?

home again

crush crush crushed...

sigh

arrgh

thursday

new threadless tees!

take a breath, step away

Friday Night Reading

Yummers...

pssst... hey kristine...

darn it all...

ok, miller fans...

beach reading

hey amy

chug chug chugging...

this day

interwhat?

really?

well, this is going to make things difficult.

making wishes come true...

oh old navy...

dinner, post exam

really? lame!

Really daily spark?

futures

Amber Alert

Too cool for school. and by cool, i mean nice outside.

mr dublin

a public service announcement

aww...

the kensie dress from chicago

T-minus 39 days

cookin'

An explanation of the medication situation

can't trust myself

new glasses

aww, shucks!

new Threadless tee

Chicago's a smidge of heaven tonight...

ain't it true, though?

Toledo Museum of Art

because i have nothing of my own to say...

You do the math. My brain doesn't work.

Hurrah!

a useless trip to the ER

heating things up in the dairy case

you would think...

hurrah for quaker quick oats!

you parents and your "unconditional love...

this is what exhaustion looks like

this man:

this sucks

for dublin

this is a good look for me, right?

recipe for disaster!

why i'm only having british babies

monday morning

sigh